get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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