porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
