im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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