I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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