dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
A+ Viking dick
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
