then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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