I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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