then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
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just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
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He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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