you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
