You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize