I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
