can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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