is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize