Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I've blown a few things in my day
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize