You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
