We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
