its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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