bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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