If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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