White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
