sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
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Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
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Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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