Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize