Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
