did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
