Banned from zoo.
Again?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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