Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
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We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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