please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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