in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
