In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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