I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
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