Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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