i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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