Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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