I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
