I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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