Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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