The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
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Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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