so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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