is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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