When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
