Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
