Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
