I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize