weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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