At least make sure they are 18
Why
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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