twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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