David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
