I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize