i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
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I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
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It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He did a backflip because drugs
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