if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
