Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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