Can i not drive my cunt home
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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