I wanna passion pit in your ass
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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