Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
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soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
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You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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