i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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