You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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