Say something about gay babies.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
