I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
