No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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