this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
