Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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