East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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