Cold hands, warm shart.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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