just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
