i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
