you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
