i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
