My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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